Re-incarnation

  • Posted on: 24 December 2023
  • By: ibuchanan

When you are re-incarnated as a lamb....you know you will be, right?....there are some rules I have documented to save you having to learn them on the fly.

Assuming you are now a bottle fed lamb.....

1. At all times, remember you prime task is to wrap yourself around the legs of your feeder and trip them up.
2. As much as possible, disrupt the other lambs from feeding. This can take the form of:
a) abruptly spitting out your nipple and attacking their nipple
b) edging sideways to push the other lambs away
c) farting in the face of the other lambs
d) hitting the other lambs in the face with your tail
3. When presented with a bottle, lunge for the side of the bottle, not the nipple. Hopelessly gum the bottle as if you have never seen it before and have no understanding of the process
4. At random intervals, smash the bottle WITH YOUR FACE! A direct hit should knock the bottle our of the feeder's hand. At this point start a riot with the other lambs, fight them for their bottle.
5. At random intervals, stop feeding. Attack the feeder's clothing, as if it is a bottle.
6. At regular intervals wipe your milky face on the feeder's clothing. If you have been smashing the bottle correctly, you should also be wiping blood on the feeder's clothing.
7. After being bottle fed round the clock for three weeks, abruptly die

There's more, but that should get you started.

Apparently filmed by Darth Vader