List of crimes

  • Posted on: 17 March 2022
  • By: MrWurster

I won't clog this blog up with lots of posts about our recently deceased Jack Russell Bertie. But in sorting ourselves out we went through a sort of a purge/wake/debrief. An interesting part of the conversation was a realization of how many near misses Bertie threw himself into. In celebration of Bertie and what he meant for us, here's a list of his crimes against commonsense that stand out….
As a puppy
1. Ran under a tractor as it was backing off a trailer
2. Yapped at an eastern brown
3. Established a nemesis relationship with the alpaca …and was chased every time he got close.
4. Ran through the cows regularly, dodging kicks. After he was kicked he continued to run through them…just faster
5. Zoomed and nipped Norton, the old fox terrier. Rage gave Norton an extra year of life.
6. Picked a fight with a gander guarding his nest, was buffeted and knocked down, and had to be rescued

As an older dog
1. Ran into the neighbours place and ran up to their short tailed heeler. Was bitten once and ran home
2. Jumped out of a moving buggy
3. Jumped out of a moving buggy …on a leash. I caught him the second time he swung past.
4. Jumped out of a parked car in Myrtleford as we were leaving. Halfway home before we realized he was missing, had to go back to find him
5. Hooked himself underneath the buggy…repeat offence
6. Stopped abruptly in front of a moving vehicle. A regular offence.
7. Dropped into the insulation cavity of the mezzanine floor wall. A 2.4 metre drop
8. Jumped into a flooded river to chase a duck
9. Faced off against a tiger snake. More than once. Once too many
10. Went down a rabbit hole and was buried by the other dog
11. Went down a rabbit hole and got stuck. Came home without his collar. Three times in one week.
12. Faced off against a fox ( more than once)
13. Attacked and killed a feral cat ( more than once)
14. While visiting, went roaming with other dogs on the main road in front of their house
15. Went roaming on Great Alpine Road when we were away and he was being minded
16. Got zapped by electric fence. Blamed me. Later he blamed the pigs and wouldn't go near them
17. Dug his way under a shipping container, then wouldn’t come out. He was dug out with a shovel and pulled out….dragging a rabbit with him
18. Raided someone's toiletries bag and ate their medication. Had to get his stomach pumped
19. Nearly died of pancreatitis. Was put on a zero fat diet. Hated it
20. Snuck into a bonfire stack to chase a rat….as the bonfire was lit. Singed but not injured